Wednesday, July 18, 2012

I'm So So Glad I'm Not...

A "new" mom anymore.  Sure, things like potty training and starting Karter in school will be new to me, but I don't consider myself new to the mom job anymore.  Thank freakin' goodness.

A couple weeks ago, I met with a woman who is pregnant with her first child to discuss her child care needs.  As we talked, I realized how grateful I am that I am no longer in that position.  Oh, I loved the joy and miracle of pregnancy and the anticipation of meeting my little sasquatch, but once he was here, it was a different story. 

There was just this feeling of helplessness and aloneness (not a word, I know) I felt after Karter arrived.  I remember getting into the car as we were leaving the hospital and feeling so sad (thank you postpartum hormones.)  How could they trust me to send me home with my precious little boy?  Why weren't any of the nurses going to come home with me to watch him while I slept???  At that moment in time, I felt like I was the only new mom in the world and that no one knew what I was going through.

The first few weeks at home were the same thing.  I mean, nothing can prepare you for being a mom, despite what you think.  I had worked with children for years and thought I could handle anything, but I was so wrong. Having a child that is your responsibility 24/7 is a totally different thing.  I was terrified of making mistakes and permanently scarring my child. 

I'm not saying I've totally got my mom act together now.  There are still questions I don't know the answer to and days I want to pull my hair out (luckily so much of it fell out after baby that that really isn't an option), but for the most part, I feel like I've got this thing down.  I feel competent in my abilities to be the best mom to Karter that I can be.  I actually take him out in public by myself now, which is a small victory in and of itself.

While I'm so happy for my new mom to be friends, I don't envy them.  Been there, done that, happy to have that first baby under my belt.  I look forward to the birth of our next child, and coming home with the much more realistic expectation that sleep just isn't an option.

Friday, July 6, 2012

A Day in the Life

One day, when I have a houseful of my own kids running around, I may want to look back on the time when I had only one child to chase after.  Or maybe Karter will ask me one day what he was like as a baby.  If not for this post, I may have no idea as I will probably have gone crazy by then.  So that I may be able to answer this question one day, I call this "A Day in the Life of Karter:"

3-5am: Karter is up throwing a party in his crib, because really, sleep is a waste of time.  It was like no party I had ever attended, as it involved a lot of tears, rocking, and sighs.

6:40am:  Up for the day, because who needs to make up for the missing 2 hours of sleep.

7:15am: Repairman shows up to finally fix the piece of roof that fell off during bad storm a week ago.  I go to pay him and can't find the check book.

7:17am: I call Mark, blaming him for the missing check book.  He sends me on a wild goose chase for the check book throughout the house.

7:20: I locate missing checkbook wedged between books on the bookshelf.  Where Karter put it.

7:55:  Karter and I go up to brush our teeth.  While I brush, Karter crawls away with his toothbrush, brushing the floor that hasn't been cleaned in forever.

9:30am: Grammie shows up with frappes from McDonald's.  Karter's mouth immediately starts moving up and down signaling he wants it and needs it.

9:45am:  I take a shower.  Grammie is only able to console Karter by feeding him large amounts of frappe.  He refuses to drink from her cup and will only drink when given some from mine.  They are the exact same drink.

11:45am: Lunch is served, and what an amazing array of food that is laid before him: snow peas from the garden, watermelon, baby food, bean and cheese tortilla, greek yogurt, and pita chips.  The only thing he eats?  Yogurt and pita chips.

12:30pm:  Zerberts take a turn for the worse.  They now involve teeth.  Very sharp teeth.  I scream, Karter continues.  My thigh is now red in baby bites.

3:00pm:  Karter throws a fit so that I will give him more puffs.  And my phone.  Karter then throws my phone on the floor and then removes the back.  The phone is no longer in his possession.

4:54pm:  Mark calls.  I'm not sure who is more excited that he is coming home a few minutes early.

5:20pm:  Mark gets home and is hungry. He opens a banana.  Karter opens his mouth.  Soon, most of the banana has been ingested by Karter. 

6:00pm: It's bedtime.  Praise the Lord.  Though I love him dearly, bed time is a celebration in this house.

7:30pm: I stare longingly at the video monitor.  I miss him when he looks so sweet sleeping.  And then he moves....

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Making Up For The Baby Book

It's an unfortunate thing that every time I remember to write in Karter's baby book, that is when Karter gets hungry for pens.  Specifically, the pen I am using.  It is for this reason that I have still yet to record his first words or keep up to date on the cute things he has done.  This is my effort to remember some of these adorable things he has been doing lately.

Bath time:  Nowadays, we're lucky if baths last more than 5 minutes.  I used to look forward to bath time as a bridge from dinner to bed time, but now it seems to be more hassle than what it's worth.  Karter has decided that there is no need to sit in the bath tub, but rather stand.  I might as well just turn on the shower for him.  The problem with this is that he will inevitably slip and hurt himself.  We are able to extend bath time by a minute or two with his favorite bath time toy: an empty teething tablet bottle.  Who needs the 5 rubber ducks, boat, foam letters and bucket he has in there?  He is obsessed with this bottle.  He would probably still have dirty knees and food stuck under his neck with out it.  So, thank you Hylands for making your bottles so fun.

First words:  Finally, we have words.  He's been super vocal and could hold on a very lengthy baby talk convo, but now we have actual words.  Father's Day weekend he uttered his first "dada" and the following weekend came "mama."  Of course, this doesn't mean he says them when we want him to, but at least we've heard them and know he can say them.

First signs:  He's been signing intermittently for awhile, but now it seems that he is actually understanding what they mean.  Kind of.  Yesterday, he was on top of his game signing "more" and "all done."  I gave him a loud round of applause after each one, thinking it would encourage this behavior.  Wrong.  Today, I would ask if he wanted more, he would sign all done, then scarf down whatever I put in front of him.  Oh well.

First steps:  A few weeks ago, he started taking his first steps (if I was a great mom I would have marked this date on the calendar.)  It's so cute to see him tottering as he walks towards me, or whatever object he is going after.  I know that walking is soon to come and I'm currently finding a place for all my valuables (most importantly my Big Boy bank.)

New favorite move:  Question hands.  You know what I'm talking about?  He puts his hands palm up and his arms out when you ask him a question.  Sometimes he does this even when you aren't asking a question, which makes it even cuter.

New way to kiss:  Zerberts.  Raspberries.  Whatever you call them, he just started doing it.  He puts his mouth on my shoulder and blows.  We both crack up and it's adorable. 

He has just been changing and picking up on so many things lately, it's hard to keep track.  I love this stage he is in and I'm trying to enjoy it as much as possible...when I'm not picking up the remote batteries he's knocked out, the peanut butter jar he's knocked across the kitchen, or the food he drops piece by piece on to the floor as he is looking me in the eye.