Sometimes I think maybe I over think things. Or I just worry that I will make a wrong choice which will negatively affect Karter and he will end up on a therapist's couch one day reminiscing about his rough childhood (I mean, today I only gave him 2 crackers when he was clearly signing "more".) Whatever it may be, I've been thinking about something for awhile and trying to decide what the right choice is...it's not really a big thing, but it's been weighing on my mind.
As a stay at home mom, I am blessed with the opportunity to be with Karter 99.9% of his waking hours (along with the other kids I watch.) I love being able to be with him all day and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. To me, the pros of being a stay at home mom outweigh the cons of it, but sometimes I do worry that he will be 15 and still hanging on to my leg when someone new comes over.
I just feel this inner conflict of guilt sometimes that since I am home with him, he deserves every second of my time playing and engaging him in activities because it's my job...while the other part of me feels like I am doing him a disservice by not promoting independent play. Sure, there are times that he goes off and plays on his own, but probably not enough. But I just feel like a bad mom if I step away from him, wanting him to drive the trucks on his own.
To make matters worse, I can't complete any household chores even if I can step away...if he hears the dishwasher open, he rushes over to it to climb; if he hears me in the laundry room., he runs over to open and shut the door and if I try to sweep, he comes over and messes up my pile. So what am I left to do for the few minutes he plays on his own? Facebook. I mean, I guess I could take up knitting again, but there's a good chance he would just come over and unravel what I had accomplished.
So maybe I am just making a mountain out of a mole hill (seriously, who uses that phrase??) but it's been weighing on my mind. It seems like a lose-lose...he plays independently and I have guilty feelings of being a subpar mom or I play with him constantly and he never learns independence. Perhaps I just need to change my mindset and view it as a win win...he plays independently and I have a chance to broaden my vocabulary with Words with Friends. Yes, that seems like a better perspective.
Totally get it. My baby is just beginning to scoot across the floor toward me if I'm dishwashing and hoping she'll play alone on the playmat. I also adore spending nearly every moment with her and wouldn't trade these precious moments for anything. I highly doubt you're raising a mama's boy, especially if you've got other children around for him to interact with.
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