I can't even tell you how many times I have put up or seen a nativity scene in my life, but it's safe to say that it's at least 897. So it was strange to me to feel such emotion putting it up this year. Last Christmas, Mark's parents gave Karter a Little People nativity scene. We finally got it out and put it together this year and he was so excited by it's contents (actually, he finds joy in sending the angels flying off the roof of the manger.)
I on the otherhand, felt sadness for Mary as I looked at her Little People self standing there next to baby Jesus (before she got launched under the couch.) My heart was heavy for her (I guess there is something about Little People that evokes emotion in me) as I imagined her on the day that she gave birth to her beautiful baby boy. What joy she must have felt as she held him in her arms for the first time...but in that same moment did she feel any sadness or fear? I mean, God chose her to be the mother of Jesus so I would gather she was well versed in scripture. Which would mean she knew the prophecies as to what would happen to her son. I can't even imagine.
I have so many fears and worries about what will happen to Karter in his life. How would I react if I knew what would happen to him, how his life would end? I don't know if I could handle it. I would probably cradle him in my arms each day and never let him go (which isn't too far off from our daily routine now-his choice, not mine.) Which is probably why God chose Mary to be the mother of Jesus and not me.
So while I always hold dear the true meaning of Christmas, this year I remember Mary and the inner emotional struggle she must have gone through so many Christmas's ago. Oh, Mary.