So today is your first birthday. Can you believe it? Just 366 days ago you were still in my belly kicking around like it was your first jungle gym. Now you are a walking, talking real boy. Who would have thought, at 3 am in your first weeks of life, that this time would go by so fast? Sometimes I am afraid I didn't soak up every moment that I could of you this first year. You are no longer a baby, you are on your way to toddler hood, and I'm not sure I can handle it. Your grammie gave me a book for Mother's Day called "If I Could Keep You Little" and it's the story of my life. I just want you to be little forever, but know it's my job as a mom to guide and watch you as your grow.
Consider this letter a reminder of all that you have meant to me this first year.
-an answer to a prayer. "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him." 1 Samuel 1:27. This verse is so true. We prayed so hard that one day we would have you, and here you are! After a year of negative pregnancy tests, you were a positive-just the baby that God picked out for us.
-a miracle. I had worried during the first trimester that something would happen (hence the paper chain countdown I made until it was over), never thinking that I had much to worry about after that. Wrong. In case I haven't told you a million times what a miracle you are, you can read your birth story here.
-a lesson in unconditional love. I will never not love you. Even when you throw all of your dinner on the floor, bite me numerous times in the same spot or wake me up in the middle of the night for no reason, I will still love you more every day. There is not a decision you can make in life that will make me not love you. Oh, I may not agree with them all, but I will love you and support you in all your walks of life. Though I thought I had an idea of what God's love for us was like, now that I have had you, I have such a greater appreciation for His unconditional love.
-what I was made for. I have always wanted to be a mother. Always. Thank you for giving me that chance. I may make mistakes and may let you down sometimes (like when I won't let you date until you are like 28), but always know that I wouldn't trade being your mom for anything in the world. Not even a Hot Now from Krispy Kreme (and that's saying a lot.)
-a reminder of the simpler things. It's amazing to see how much joy an empty container of sour cream can bring you. When you hear me say "outside" you get so excited and kick your feet as if you had just won the baby lottery. You remind me that life isn't about things, it's about living in the moment and making the most of it.
-so much more than I can put into words. At times, this first year has been hard, trying and a learning experience. But it was worth it. So worth it.
I've loved seeing you grow and change this first year, little K bug. I can't wait to see what this next year has in store for us (crossing my fingers that it includes a lot of sleep.)
Love you more each day,