So the last two nights, Mark and I decided that Karter should move into his crib in his own room to see if that will help him sleep better. Now I have to say, I was totally against this. I would have been perfectly content to have him sleep next to me in his co sleeper for the next 5 years. I hate to be apart from him, even if we are both sleeping. But...after a few nights of Karter screaming and fighting sleep, I decided it was best to try it.
Last night, as I went in to soothe him when he was crying, I just looked at him, so tiny in that big crib, and just wanted to crawl in there with him and wrap my arms around him and protect him from everything bad in this world. It breaks my heart that as he grows, he is one step closer to being on his own facing the world. I never want him to experience heartache, be subjected to bad people, or to feel less than the amazing boy he is. I'm finding, even at 3 months, that it's hard to let your children grow and go.
I know it's just a crib, but I feel like it's the first major step in Karter becoming his own person, and I selfishly want him to want to stay cuddled in my arms forever...or at least the next couple years. There's a good chance that I am suffering from more separation anxiety than Karter! I know it's healthy for his development to learn independence and self sufficiency...but there's a good chance that when I'm finished writing this post, I'm going to go check the weight limit for his crib. Just in case.