Friday, April 19, 2013

Trial and Error

Being a mom is tough, like super tough.  Like hardest job I'll ever have tough.  It's not just the physical demands (birthing, feeding, sleep deprivation, etc.) but it's the emotional toll it takes too.  I am now responsible for another human being.  That's intense.

So yesterday, I was sitting in the toy room playing with the baby that I watch.  Karter was over sitting by the spot where we change him.  He had picked up a pair of shorts that I had brought down in case it was too warm for pants.  I watched him as he tried and tried to get these shorts on.  He got them on over his head and realized it wasn't right.  He tried to stick his hands through the holes and it wasn't right.  He finally got his legs through but couldn't figure out how to pull them up. 

I just sat there, wanting to jump up and put the shorts on for him.  He was so serious and so determined to achieve his goal that it broke my heart to see him struggle with trying to figure out how they go on.  I know it seems silly, but it just hit me then that this is one of the hardest things of being a mom.  Watching your child struggle through trial and error, when you know just what to do, is so difficult.  I don't want  him to fail, but I know that I need to let him so that he can deal with failure as he grows.  I won't always be there to help him put on his shorts, do his math home work or to yell at the girls who break his heart.

What I can do is to instill in him early on that when he succeeds, I love him and when he fails, I love him too.  What matters is that he tries  It's amazing how such everyday, simple things can teach you life lessons.