Walking Contradiction

Yesterday, as I was rocking Karter for his nap, and sweating off any ate-too-much-ice-cream-this-week weight off while doing so, I came to the realization that I am a walking contradiction.  I found myself sitting up there longing for the days of fall, with it's crisp hoodie weather...but then I remembered in fall sitting up there longing for the long, warm days of spring.  I long for vacations, and then when I am there, I long to be home.  Am I ever satisfied?  Though I try to be content in every situation, my human nature (that's what I am choosing to blame it on) causes discontent in me.

Since having a child, I've noticed that this character trait has made itself more noticeable within myself.  For the first few weeks, months even, I longed for the days when my baby would be an independent, mobile little boy, not needing me within 5 feet of him at all times.  Now, here I find myself with a more mobile boy (though, I still have to be within 5 feet of him at all times) and I long for the days when I could put him in the swing and go to the bathroom, without him crawl-running to the door and banging on it (yes, it's already started.)  My brother and I were looking at pics of Karter when he was just a wee little lad and I couldn't believe how much he had changed already.  Though those sleepless nights and days with a colicky baby were so tough, I shouldn't have been so quick to wish them away.

I guess what I have learned is that I will always be wishing for something else, something that I think is 'better.'  My job as a mom, though, is to acknowledge that fact, but learn to enjoy the current moment I have with my child.  I know now, that I even though I am wishing for the day when he can walk on his own, without me being there to catch his fall, I will look back on these days and wish for them again.  And when I do, I'll know that I did my best to enjoy every second of catching his little bottom before it hit the ground, chasing him up the stairs, and peeing faster, because goodness knows, that 30 seconds I'm gone is traumatic for him.

Are You Crunchy Enough?

No, I'm not talking about peanut butter (though that does sound delicious right now.) Everyone seems to be abuzz over the Time Magazine cover with a woman breastfeeding her 3 year old child (seriously, when you need to use a step stool, it's probably time to stop.) I'm not here to weigh in on the cover itself, but more so on this parenting trend that seems to support. Those crunchy parents.

I have been wanting to blog about this for awhile, but not wanting to offend anyone, I have held back my thoughts. But like I've said before, it's my blog so I think I can say what I think, whether it be right or not (though, I'm usually right, just ask my husband;)  There just seems to be a lot of talk on crunchy matters as of late, and it just irks me. 

I think that my parenting style is kind of middle of the road. I'm by no means crunchy, but I'm also not totally not crunchy.  I will breastfeed Karter for a year, maybe longer, I make my own baby food and I cloth diaper.  He's gone to the chiropractor a few times.  Add those things up and I at least get one crunchy badge, at least I think so.  But there are things I do that probably brings those in the crunchy community to tears...I vaccinate my child and firmly believe in doing so, I don't whip out my boob in public and not cover up, I do not co sleep (though there was that month that we had to in order to get any sleep), Karter's eaten his fair share of value brand graham crackers, and I fully believe that one of God's greatest gifts (ok, maybe greatest is a bit extreme) was to give someone knowledge on how to make epidurals.  Also, I don't chew my food and then feed Karter mouth to mouth, bird style.  I know, terrible mom right here (though he will thank me in a few years when he isn't in therapy in his 20's because pictures of me feeding him mouth to mouth have surfaced on the web.)

I guess it's not so much the crunchy lifestyle that really bothers me, it's the opinionated moms who live it.  While advice from other moms is to be expected, I have found that those that are "crunchy" provide the harshest kind of advice with a criticizing undertone.  We all mother differently and no one way is right, so I wish people would stop making it seem like there is one magic way to mother your child.  To me, a step stool for a 3 year old is created to reach things like the bathroom sink, not my boob.

Well, I could go on for hours, but my child has been fussing for the last few minutes because he wants out of his crib (gasp! He will probably have brain damage one day because I let him cry!), so I should probably attend to him.  Like I said, this isn't to offend anyone, but just to provide my own two cents. 

A Mother's Day Wish

Dear my little Karter bug,

It's been splendid being your mother the last 9 months.  I am so excited that tomorrow I will get to experience my first "real" Mother's Day tomorrow with you.  Not that you would be anything but perfect tomorrow, but just in case, here are a few requests I have for you for tomorrow:

-Please don't expect me up before 10.  I am sure you and your dad will have a great time playing trucks, building block walls and watching for tractors.  Just do it quietly, please.  There are only a few days out of the year when my whines of "I need to sleep in" will work on your father, and tomorrow is one of them.
-If you think of it, maybe you could let me go to the bathroom on my own tomorrow, without crawling in to play with the door stop, unravel the toilet paper, or to bang on the door if I shut it.  Just a thought.
-Perhaps, if you are going to knock off the items of the first shelf of the pantry, you could just reorganize while you are at it?  Putting back the potatoes and the boxes of cheerios you knock down  would be great too.  Don't over do it though.
-Maybe, if you feel like it, you could allow me to change your diaper without it being a 10 minute ordeal of wrestling you back so that you aren't crawling around on my off white carpet without me wiping you first.  I know, I know, you think it's hilarious and sit there triumphantly as though you have outsmarted me, and perhaps you have, but let's just give it a break for tomorrow, ok?  Better yet, make sure that all your dirty diapers occur in your dad's presence.
-This may be a stretch, but perhaps you could consider not laughing at me every time I say "no."  Need an example?  "No Karter, get the lamp cord out of your mouth." "No Karter, books aren't for eating." (and you can pretend that you aren't doing this, but when I look over and see paper on your chin, I know what you've been up to, fyi.)

These are just a few suggestions, feel free to come up with more on your own.  I will also take as many giggles, kisses, and joyful screams as you are willing to give out.  Thanks for giving me a reason to celebrate the day tomorrow.

All my love,
Your tired momma

Swimming Trunks

Sometimes it's the little things that are the greatest reminder of how blessed we really are.  Today, for me, it was a pair of swimming trunks.  As I went to get them off the porch tonight, as they had dried out from today's festivities, I was reminded of how very blessed I am that I have a little boy to fill those trunks up. 

It's funny how much life has changed by that little bottom that fills those trunks.  Sunday's used to be the perfect time for Mark and I to complete the tasks around the house that had been piling up all week.  Now, we have to tag team it, as one person plays with Karter and the other person takes care of the never-ending to do list.  It's hard not to take for granted the time we have with Karter when we're busy thinking about the grass that needs mowed, the dog hair that needs swept up and the dishes that won't stop piling up.

While Mark mowed the grass today, I got to play with Karter in the baby pool, which was his first experience in water, besides the bathtub.  He was adorable, as to be expected, and seemed to love it.  I was busy snapping up every picture I could of the moment because I didn't want to forget it.

At the end of the day, I may not have gotten all of my to-do's done, but I brought in those little swimming trunks, and I realized that I got the most important "to do" crossed off today.  Now that's a good day.