Yesterday, I was lamenting to Mark about my hatred for my reproductive system and was seriously considering firing my ovaries or my uterus, or whatever it is that doesn't make babies as quickly as I want it to. You could say that Mark is the more reasonable and logical one in the relationship and he didn't really see that as an effective reaction. Mark doesn't let his disappointment over not getting pregnant right away show and his reaction is to say "I didn't pray enough for it this month. I have to do better next month." I appreciate this and the fact that he verbalizes what I think but don't necessarily say.
So anyway, we were standing in the kitchen yesterday discussing this and Mark said to me "Megan, the best things are worth the wait. We had to wait for Karter and he brings me so much joy." Those words melted my heart. As I looked over at my baby boy dragging around my clean rolling pin on my very dirty floors, I knew what Mark said was true. My heart overflows with joy every time I look at him (even though my current view of him is on the video monitor refusing his nap for the second time in two days.) I could not picture a more perfect boy for us nor could I imagine loving something as much as I love him.
I may not understand God's timing or want it to be that way in the moment, but looking back I always recognize that it is for my own good that God works the way He does. I may never get to be pregnant again (ok, that's a little Debbie Downerish after only 4 months) but I have a little man that brings me so much joy already and that's enough for me.