It Takes Two, Baby

Call me old fashioned, but I believe the order of things goes marriage then baby.  Of course, there are several people, the Jessica Simpson's of the world, who disagree.  I'm not saying that you're not a good parent if you aren't married, as there are wonderful single mom's and dad's, but I believe that until you are in that committed relationship, a baby is not the thing for you.

Now let's pretend, for the purpose of this post, that the vast majority of people still take marriage seriously and that it means two people promising themselves to one another for the rest of their lives (and no, the rest of your life does not count as 72 days.)

Mark and I don't have a perfect marriage, nor do I think we are immune to the problems that many marriages face, but I do think we have one thing going for us-a commitment to each other to stick it out to the end (and our faith.)  Pre-baby, we had a wonderful relationship, our fights were easily resolved and we just enjoyed being together. Post-baby, we still have a wonderful relationship, there are just a lot more bumps and curves that we weren't faced with before.

When I think about why it took us so long to get pregnant, I know one of the major reasons is that God wanted us to have more time just "us" so that we could lay that foundation for a healthy relationship.  Karter didn't deserve to have parents who were immature in their relationship and took this out on the frustrating aspects of raising a baby together.  Sure, a baby seems like such fun and a way to really culminate your love for one another, but babies aren't just cute little things-they are hard work and test the best of relationships.

I am lucky that Mark is a wonderful father and devoted to Karter and helping me with him.  Without Mark, I couldn't have made it through the night that Karter screamed for 5.5 hours...or the first 3 months when Karter was so disinterested in sleep.  I mean, without the binds of marriage, how easy is to get so frustrated with each other while there is a baby screaming over the monitor and you're both so sleep deprived that you just realize the relationship and work isn't worth it?  Seriously, it's too tempting to have a "way out" once you bring a baby into this world.  Trust me on this one-from someone who is crazy in love with her husband, there are some days that I would just like to get in the car and drive until I run out of gas, but I can't and I won't, because I love my Karter and I love Mark.

So like I said, I know there are people who can do a wonderful job raising their kids who are not married, but I believe the best environment to bring a child into is that in which both parents are in the committed relationship that is marriage.  These past few days, when things have been rough, I realize how blessed I am to have Mark and so glad God knew when it was the best time for us to bring a baby into this world!