R.I.P "Natural" Childbirth

Lifetime has been showing re runs of "One Born Every Minute" during the day and I have been crying through watching them. After each episode, I'm left with the following thoughts: 1.) Why in the world is Jamie Lee Curtis narrating? 2.) How do I get on this show? and 3.) Sadness over the fact that I will never experience a "natural" (vaginal) birth.  Now, one and two I usually forget about it in a minute or two, but number three I tend to think about and sometimes mourn the loss of that experience.

I didn't have a c-section by choice, as I am guess the majority of first time mom's don't either.  I had it out of pure necessity to get Karter out safely.  I had spent a lot of time before having him frightened by the thought of something that big coming out of me.  I'm not going to lie, after our birthing class I was ready to convince Mark to birth our children.  But...now that I can't give birth naturally, I don't look at it as a frightening experience I look at it as a magical experience that I won't have.

I suppose I should clarify that I could give birth naturally, but I have read about the risks of a VBAC and I don't think it is worth it just for the sake of my body or so that I can have the experience.  I will already be at a risk for complications with my next pregnancy d/t the placenta starting to abrupt with Karter, and I don't think adding more risks is responsible on my part (plus, Upper Valley doesn't do VBAC's and we really love the chicken fingers there:))

After I have those times of sadness over the natural birth I'll never have, I realize that while I didn't plan on a c-section, it really wasn't so bad (and I bet next time it will be even better since I will have more than 5 minutes to prepare for it.)  I had no pain from the c-section, even in my recovery I never really felt pain...which may have been because I had them keep the pain pills coming.  I mean, the area was sensitive, but nothing like I have heard the pain from natural birth.  I wasn't afraid to go to the bathroom after, which was a big fear of mine when thinking about a natural birth.  

So my suggestion to those out there who are soon to be mom's is this...have a birth plan, but be flexible.  My birth plan was to not have a plan because I knew it wouldn't go the way I wanted it.  That doesn't mean I wasn't a little shocked the way it turned out, but at least I wasn't set in stone about anything-besides getting an epidural.  You just never know when you are going to be strapped down to operating table while they slice a hole in your belly...