Blessed to be a SAHM

I am thankful everyday for the opportunity to stay at home with Karter to watch him grow, but today was one of those days that I was very thankful.  One thing I didn't like about working was that on nice days, I was usually stuck behind a computer.  Not today.  Karter and I took full advantage of this weather and played with his toys and worked in the garden.  After I had finished cleaning up the flower bed, I went over and laid on the blanket next to him while he played in his cute little hat and I realized "It doesn't get better than this."  That moment was perfect and I am so appreciative that I got to spend it with him.

Now, becoming a stay at home mom (SAHM) wasn't an easy decision for Mark and I.  I had every intention of returning to work and Mark and I had agreed when we bought this house that I would at least work until the birth of our second child (he claims I promised him this as a condition of buying this house, I say that never happened.)  We had a babysitter picked out and were set to go...but then we had Karter. 

As I've stated before, Karter was a tad bit fussy and disliked hated sleep.  Even though my family had been coming over almost ever day since he was born, he would cry for anyone but me.  He would only nap on my chest (sometimes other people's.)  This was not conducive for leaving him with a babysitter.  Then, when I went over to meet with our babysitter, she revealed that she had agreed to watch 5 kids under the age of 2, which isn't even allowed in the state of Ohio.  My stomach was in knots after this visit and I didn't know what to do.  Did I give birth to my son only to leave him with someone who couldn't love him like I could and to know he was crying all day?  After some long discussions and budget reviews, Mark and I decided I would stay home.

I struggled with this decision, because, as much as I wanted to stay home, I was afraid I would lose some sort of value by not working.  Mark has never ever made me feel this way, but I was afraid that I would be thought of us dead weight, or something.  I know that just because I don't receive a paycheck doesn't mean that I'm not working.  Being a mom is the hardest job that I have ever had.

So anyway, today was just one of those days where I felt so blessed to be able to stay at home with Karter.  It is so worth any financial sacrifice because time is something I can never get back and memories are far more valuable than another knick knack for the house.  I mean, do I really need new clothes when my biggest fashion decision of the day is "which pair of sweatpants should I wear?"

One day he won't need me, and maybe then, I'll go back to work.  Until then, I can't wait for another day soaking up some Vitamin D next to cutest baby on the block (or State Route, in my case.)