Not to go all Captain Obvious on you or anything, but I've been a mom now for almost the last 7 months (17 if you count baby in my belly time), but today, I really felt like a mom. Why? Because when we got home from our small group tonight I had to remember to take the baby socks out of the pocket of my cardigan. My little munch takes them off like it's his job, seriously, sometimes he is taking them off while you are still putting them on. Anyway, reaching down and feeling those socks in my pocket, I realized that this is real, I'm a mom. I am responsible for another human being, and more importantly his socks.
Sometimes I can't even believe how old I am. 28. When I was 13, 28 seemed old, really old. Now that I am here, I still feel like I am 13. I look in the mirror and think "this isn't what I thought being 28 looks like." There are times when I feel like I am a kid raising a kid (I don't know how those Teen Moms do it), but then I have to remind myself that really I am an educated well-rounded (I think) adult. When did that happen? I feel like I am so used to being someone's child it's weird to think that I am now someone's mother. Weird, that is, until I felt those socks in my pocket.
Today, feeling those socks, I didn't feel so 13ish anymore. Today I felt like a real mom, cool and collected and finally getting this mom thing under control. I'd say I've been a great mother to Karter over these last 7 months, not to toot my own horn (but I'm going to anyway), but I finally feel like I know what I am doing. I don't have everything figured out, but now I've gotten to the point where I've realized that's okay and no mother has it all figured out (and if they do, I don't like them.)
There will always be obstacles and things I don't understand about motherhood. But for today, I've got those socks in my pocket, and for now, that's enough.
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